Thursday, May 13, 2010

For Eve

Tony and Maria had purchased the apartment block with an eye to the future; a nice place to raise a family, and the rents they received from the other units would supplement their income. Eve had come along a few years later, blessing them with perpetual sunshine and happiness.

Money, however, had not been able to secure Eve’s health. She had been diagnosed at an early age and, regardless of the money they invested in making her better, they lost their sunshine just a few short years later. Darkness had enveloped their marriage. Maria departed and Tony grieved.


The climb to the third floor landing had been difficult. As he walked, ghosts of the past cried out to him; a squeal of joy reverberated off the walls

(daddy where are you...)

and the aroma of his daughter’s favourite meal wafted to his nostrils

(try some of this daddy it’s yummy-yummy for my tummy)

and made him think of Eve and the good times they had shared in this apartment block.

He opened the door slowly, allowing the mustiness seep out before he himself stepped inside. He wandered the unit; fingers touching photos of her on the wall, eyes examining for the umpteenth time the hand-drawn pictures on the refrigerator

(for my daddy. Love E.)

and finally stepping into her bedroom, which had not changed over the years. It was more than a shrine to his daughter – it was his connection to his past.

Tony tidied, dusted, vacuumed and made the apartment feel lived in again – he wanted her to be happy.

Afterwards, he left, closing the door on





Tess said...

This is breathtaking ... the details ... the perfectly captured agony of loss ... an almost tangible emptiness. Bravo.

Bukowski's Basement said...

Like a punch in the gut, Paul... Sad and very well-told.

Crybbe666 said...

Tess: I am at a loss for words. Thank you for your ultra-sweet comments.

Anthony: Sorry bout getting violent with you. Must be my Aussie spirit!
Glad you liked it!

David Barber said...

Nice work, Paul. A very sad tale that was really well written. Keep it up mate.

Regards, David.

Erin Cole said...

A heart wrencher. I love this, "It was more than a shrine to his daughter – it was his connection to his past." That's gorgeous.

Jodi MacArthur said...

I'm sorry I'm so late here. This is a bittersweet ghost story. I like the way you structured this. It's a slow decent of sadness.

Really like the name Eve too.

Good work!

John Wiswell said...

This so deeply stylish that it should have been cloying. It isn't. It's a rare case of style fully supporting emotional thrust. Sad work, but good work, Paul.

Crybbe666 said...

David - Thank you Sir, appreciate it!

Erin - Heart-wrenching is what I was going for. Can't kill people off all the time!!

Jodi - Eve is a lovely name, glad you felt it fit as well.

John - Such high praise Sir. Thank you very much. It is a fine line, I suppose, between bittersweet and cloying. Glad I didn't overstep the mark!

Michael Solender said...

well done mate.