Thursday, December 17, 2009

Bully and Victim

The hiccups had started when the verbal abuse did.

“Gaylord.”

“Queer.”

I had been used to these taunts all through my childhood. The other kids just didn’t understand me. They didn’t realise what these verbal barbs did to a young man’s confidence and self-esteem.

“Hey, poof, want another pillow to bite?”

As if my future wasn’t bleak enough, growing up in a foster home, this constant abuse had almost sent me over the edge. I had stolen the pistol my foster father kept in the bottom drawer of his bedside table – he won’t notice until it is too late.

“Hey, queer, we’re talking to you.”

The first punch landed on the side of my head, knocking me off balance; the second one hit me in the kidneys which made me groan in pain. I felt the nausea rise, along with the years of anger and humiliation.

The first shot, much to my surprise, hit the bully between the eyes. Shock formed on his face, gradually melting away as his life did the same.

I will never be the victim again.

17 comments:

David said...

The short, snappy pieces of dialogue are true to life, and you've embedded the 3WW words brilliantly.

My favourite line was the second to last sentence - "Shock formed on his face, gradually melting away as his life did the same."

The final paragraph has great conviction, but I doubt it turns out to be true for your protagonist.

Daily Panic said...

pushed to the edge of which there was no return. nice piece.
Thanks for the comment!

ThomG said...

Strong subject matter, tightly written and great dialogue. A great, great piece of flash fiction.

Angel Zapata said...

I'm always a big fan of vengeance tales. Well told, Paul.

mark said...

Well done...good narrative...

Tumblewords: said...

I'm so fond of vengeance!! Good piece!

Larry said...

very good piece
it was told like it should of been. I had a friend that went through the same in real life the guys were always calling him a queer and fagot thank god he always kept his cool though. I like the style of your writing great piece.I look forward to reading you again.



Larry

gautami tripathy said...

I liked this taut piece.

ode to percy bisque silley

Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wordvamp said...

Bwahahaha Paul, excellent job. This was a great read and as always, I do look forward to reading everything you write.

Tim Remp said...

That was a great short piece. All powerful points which drew me in quick, thanks for posting.

Jodi MacArthur said...

I always like stories where people take charge and say, "NO!" Normally it includes someone dying. This is metaphorical of real life whether blood is spilt or not.

Good writing. Clean ms. Thanks for the read.

Paul D. Brazill said...

Right in the kisser!

peggy said...

tight and true. and I too, agree, the prompts blended seamlessly.

David Barber said...

Great piece Paul. Revenge is soooo sweet!! Very well written.

I knew the Rowan Atkinson scetch as soon as he came on stage. Superb.

Question...I follow your blog (I know you follow mine) but I don't get anything on mine when you post something. ??? Any ideas?

All the best to you and yours for Christmas and 2010, David.

Laurita said...

You do vengeance well. Nice and sharp, this one.

Emme Toaye said...

Those memories painful as they are, are the ones that are the root of our ability to create. Your story was short but well filled with emotion.