Friday, October 15, 2010

Bikes and Pink Dresses - I Dare You

An "I Dare You" Challenge at JM Prescott's "A Reader's World" story.

The challenge this week was issued by Julia Archer, which was "My dare this week is to write about a passage from light to dark." Below is my response to this challenge.



Bikes and Pink Dresses



Light bulb burns brightly...


Photo frames of a smiling girl; a thin layer of dust alters the colour of her blue eyes. Blonde-haired Barbies on the mantelpiece; a child’s age indicated by the mix and match of the doll’s clothing – these are still in pink dresses and ballet shoes. Youth trumps experience when it comes to dressing Barbie – who needs a teenage version with denim skirts and black boots? Teddy bears, tea seats, Hannah Montana – a snapshot of life, a moment in time preserved.

A window overlooks the backyard – a pink pushbike sits abandoned, covered in a fresh dusting of snow. A young child looks through the iron rails of the fence and wishes she could take that bike and make it her own – give it a life, and love, of its own, rather than being stranded and forgotten – just like the girl who once owned it.

A curtain flutters in the breeze yet the window is not open. The light is on yet there is no one home. Faces peer up at the window yet there is no one there.


Light bulb flickers...



Dark stains corrupt the perfect white carpet. Fragments of torn clothes lie scattered over chairs and the floor. Broken hearts and broken lives fled these rooms, leaving them as eternal reminders to a life denied.

A mother leans against the fence, weeping quietly. The once-pink bicycle, now tarnished with rust and ignorance, lies on its side, wheels spinning lazily in the breeze – a reminder of a better time; a time when little girls wanted to ride bikes and play with dolls in pink dresses.

A young girl appears in the window above her head. She waves to everyone but no one sees her; she stares at her reflection in the glass and hesitantly reaches to touch it. Ethereal, spectral, spiritual - she wails in pain once again.


Light bulb burns out...

7 comments:

David Barber said...

Great writing, Paul. A heart wrenching tale that leaves us to make up our own minds as to what happened to the little girl. Keep it up, dude.

Laurita said...

Haunting and heart wrenching. Nicely don, Paul.

Harry said...

I like the way you deliver this in scenes. Concise but full and very well done Paul!

Crybbe666 said...

David, Laurita and Har - thanks for dropping by. Was something just a little different for me. Glad you liked it.

Jodi MacArthur said...

Gah. Paul, I love ths. Yuor details of rust & ignornce, dust filtering the frame and color of eyes. Just perfect.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Oh my God, that was excellent writing. So sad, and poignant.

Crybbe666 said...

Jodi & Icy - thanks for your comments. Not something I normally write, but I have enjoyed the feedback from everyone.