Monday, August 23, 2010

Ambush! - Amelia & Kelsey (Thinking Ten Post)

Today, on Thinking Ten, the prompt was On Location, Hiding.
I had been working on the follow-up piece to my Friday Flash story from this week and the prompt just seemed to work perfectly.
For those who haven't checked out Thinking Ten, go and have a look - it is great exercise!!
Also want to thank Blake Cooper for all his hard work behind the scenes - mate, you are doing a fantastic job!


Amelia sensed an ambush; the silence was too quiet, the streets too deserted. Her pack weighed down on her shoulders as she crouched behind a parked vehicle, scanning the intersection for signs of her pursuers. She knew they were out there; she had the bullet wound to prove it.

Agent Kelsey emerged from a darkened shopfront and gestured her forward. She closed the distance between them in a half-run, half crouch. When she reached him, he indicated for her to keep moving down the street. “Try to remain hidden in the shadows as best you can,” he whispered to her.

Amelia nodded in agreement and kept moving.

A few feet further down the block, Amelia heard shuffling footsteps and, before she had a chance to react, bullets ricocheted off the wall beside her head. She heard Kelsey return rapid-fire. She hit the ground, taking cover behind a Jeep. A click behind her told her the terrible news that Kelsey was out of ammunition.

She rose up from behind the vehicle and saw one of the assailants crossing the road, making a path towards Kelsey. In one swift, fluid movement, Amelia leapt over the bonnet of the Jeep, tucked into a forward roll across the pavement where one of the attackers lay dead. With one hand she grabbed the dead man’s gun, executed another near perfect roll and threw the weapon back over her shoulder to a rather surprised Kelsey.

The agent did stop to ask questions; he fired at the oncoming enemy, hitting him three times in the chest with precision, before placing another two in his forehead for good measure.

“Good work, Amelia,” Kelsey called to her. He could see her grin and the light in her eyes, even from a distance. He didn’t want to stop and explore that smile – not now, at least.

“Now let’s keep moving.”


Sue H said...

....:-) Thanks for the next Kelsey/Amelia installment.

Now, how long do we have to wait for #3, hmmm?

This story/relationship is looking like a go-er....!

Doc said...

I think Flannery is right. Maybe a little romance to season the action. These are characters you feel comfortable with and you don't have any trouble moving them from one near-death scrape to the next. Why not have them sit down to dinner in some exotic location and talk for a little bit and give the reader some insight into what makes them tick? Is Kelsey motivated by a sense of duty, money, or is he just a thrill junkie? Amelia comes to this kind of lifestyle with a very different background than Kelsey. What is it? Dinner could be filled with sexual tension or end in a full-blown tryst, and if you feel the need to write your way out of it, they could always be attacked by the waiter holding a flaming shish-kabob.


Crybbe666 said...

Sue - Next installment not far away. Thanks for staying tuned!

Doc - I was thinking of back story, but wasn't sure how to go about it...the dinner conversation sounds like a great idea...only problem is, I couldn't write a romantic scene even if Barbara Cartland came back from the dead and helped me!!!

Doc said...

If the dinner idea doesn't work for you, you might try putting them on a train. The close quarters lends itself conversation, reflection, etc., as well as giving them some alone time together.

As for writing romance, I'm not the one to coach you there, but you're a father so you must have romanced at least one girl. Draw from that. What did you say to her that convinced her to give you a "roll in the hay"?


Crybbe666 said...

Doc - I think the winning line was "Hey ba-by, fancy a shag?"
Well, maybe not...but I take your point, thanks!

David Barber said...

You've created something here, Paul. Great stories with action and a blossoming romance to boot. Will they, won't they? You could make a real big go of it with these two. The relationship remind me of "Bones." Don't know if you get that in OZ.

Have a great weekend, mate.

P.s. You had the same chat-up line as me! :-)